Englishman Buys Bar - will supply potion to sons of Astérix

By John Harries-Harries

Near the southern border of Armorica, the region which was once home to Astérix, Obélix and Idéfix, lies the tiny village of Bonen. Recently, disaster struck - the woman who owned and ran the village café-bar died without leaving a successor.

This happens occasionally in rural France, but here an Englishman was affected. John Harries-Harris had established a second home nearby, and was a regular client during his visits. He was getting set in his ways, so the prospect of having to travel 5 kilometers to the nearest hostelry shook him up.

Normally, I find diaries introspective and boring, but John's should not be. I shall publish episodes over the next few months as he tells us about his decision to buy the bar and let the rooms. Oh, and re-marrying his ex-wife became an essential part of the process.

 Here are John and daughter Trish.

Trish's 650 Suzuki is no toy, but looks cuddly against Dad's 1000 cc Kawasaki. This diary should be interesting.

Let us begin....

12 Oct 2002.  Dream or Nightmare? E-Day minus 5 weeks.

It’s the quiet moments when the fears come alive. What AM I doing? I’m so very English, [not even ‘British’], and my French is not good. It’s actually bloody awful. Despite this I am going to run a café-bar in rural Brittany.

How did I get into this, and more to the point, am I going to come out the other side?

It started so simply, 30 years ago, when I took my family to our twin town of Mayenne for a week’s holiday. France worked her magic and I dreamt of retirement in a secluded idyll, watching the days pass, through rosé filled glasses.

In 1998, dreams began to become reality. I had seen my elder children flee the nest, their young sister was coming up to 11 and I thought it was time she started to travel. We had a short stay in Quimper, a delightful town, and my love affair blossomed again. The following year we returned, this time to see what sorts of properties were for sale in Brittany and Normandy.

At the time we were merely ‘interested’ - we weren't planning  an immediate purchase. But there wouldn’t be a story if that hadn't changed. We rented a gîte near Rostrenen, saw the house opposite was ‘A Vendre’ and made an offer.

How this led to buying a bar and leaving our home and friends will be the subject of this diary.

The family are now sitting amongst boxes filled with our remaining and rapidly reducing possessions as we cope with the countless tasks ahead. I worry about the capacity of the Trannie van which blocks all my neighbours' light. It looked enormous when I bought it, but every day it shrinks a little.

I think of the imposition on Lucy, who has to finish her schooling in a foreign land, in a foreign language, and about her having to leave her friends behind…. I think of the older members of the family who may be seeing us for the last time… I think of what will happen if it all goes to merde, and we have to crawl back, short of money.... What if one parent dies over there and the other has to cope alone?.... What if....

When nothing seems to be happening, I think of so many things that could go wrong. And then there’s a mini-crisis, a descent into chaos, and the world is most definitely ALL RIGHT. We English are good at chaos management. We get the practice.

JH2. (Think of the Hash House Harriers' H3 logo. Ed)

* * *

That's all for now. I'll be posting new episodes more or less regularly, as John sends them in. I'd be interested in hearing how YOU react to the stress of waiting. Does it give you the jitters, too? e-mail me with your thoughts or advice, or write in the Guest Book.

Have fun.

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